Zambia, Days 3 & 4: On (and In) The Mighty Zambezi

It’s a hard life spending a day white-water rafting through the world-class rapids of the lower Zambezi and then getting up the following morning at dawn to canoe by stunning flora and fauna along the upper Zambezi. (Although you might actually feel sorry for us if you saw our resulting sunburns.)

Your Guide Made WHAT Type of Pit-Stop?

Tuesday started off at dawn, with the requisite early deadlines and long wait times that come with any large group activity.  Nearly 35 “guests” and a dozen guides met at the neighboring African Queen Hotel to learn the all-important rules of the river. Luckily we paid attention to the “what to do in case your raft flips” portion…  (dun dun DUN)

From the next day on the canoe --
didn't risks the cameras on the rapids.

Our raft held a Canadian college student (who at one point asked if the flat volcanic rock we were drifting past was hand-cut in order to look so smooth), five Dutch backpackers, one well-seasoned guide with interesting side businesses, and the two of us.

After a previously unmentioned 45 minute hike/scramble down a steep ravine, we hopped into our rafts for last-minute practice. “Paddle left! Paddle right! Get Down! Jump in the River!”...  after which I was somewhat surprised to be literally the only guest out of 35+ who remained seated and dry in a raft. Our guide gave me a high-five for not being an idiot easily fooled. [1]

We started at rapid #7 as the water was too high for #1-6; it was a class five, and every single raft flipped over. I had the distinction of knocking TJ out of our boat [2] but redeemed myself by saving a shivering Dutchman whose limited English apparently missed the part of the instruction about NOT TRYING TO SWIM through the rapids on your stomach, head first.

The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful (but lovely) other than our guide separating from the entire group and “pulling over” our raft to the Zimbabwae side of the river to hand plastic packages stuffed with mystery contents and a wad of cash to a waiting boy with five dogs. Later, after we missed his second drop, he pulled us over alongside three young boys fishing, handed them US$5 with murmured instructions and much gesticulating that appeared to be asking them to go back to the missed man to let him know the guide would be back the following day. None of us asked any questions, and eventually our guide muttered something about “owing some people some money.”

Rowing, Rowing, Rowing!

Smuggled ourselves into Zimbabwe!

Because we weren’t at all tired or sore after 23 rapids, we decided to get up at the crack of dawn the following morning to go canoeing. [3] Thank goodness we’d already paid because paddling along the rippling waters of the Zambezi, with clear blue skies above us and national parks surrounding us, was a remarkable way to spend a morning.

Although our guide called the canoe a “Divorce Boat,” I’m proud to say TJ and I paddled together for 4+ hours with nary a disagreement or criticism. In fact, he did a wonderful job steering, and I think we paddled together quite well despite his strange tendency to repeatedly break into song. [4]

We saw more than a dozen crocodiles, 20+ hippos sunning themselves, one goat on the Zimbabwae side apparently waiting to become lunch for one of the many lions that roam the park on that side of the river, birds of every shape and size, deer-like creatures called impala, and very large deer-like river buck. We canoed right up to our Lodge, where we hauled up our boats (ok, TJ and the guides hauled while I watched) and then had lunch.

Hot Water Bottles of Delight (and other odds and ends)

The highlight of the nights here – if you’re not into three course meals and beautiful beds draped with picturesque mosquito netting – is an amazing invention called the hot water bottle. The Africans have developed a remarkable custom of filling said inventions with hot water and placing them in your turned-down bed. The result? (Because I know you’re wondering.)

A warm bed! And NOT JUST a warm bed, but a warm bed that stays warm all night! A cozy little warm water bottle of delight to rest your cold, abused little footsies on all night long! And as if that wasn’t enough, they took their invention one step farther and wrapped it in flannel so that it stays warm all night long! I’m totally going to patent these things when I get back to the US. [5]

The other odds and ends will have to wait…  I spy a lump waiting for me in the bed, and I’m going to go snuggle my feet up against it. [6]

TJ's Footnotes:

1.     SOME of us were being good sports.  After all, it wasn’t long until Jess ended up head first in the river herself.

2.     Almost completely through the rough part of the rapid, and just as I thought to myself “we’re actually going to make it” when all the prior boats had failed, I happed to look up and see (a) the left half of the raft in the air immediately above me perpendicular to the water and (b) Jessica shaken lose and dropping right on top of me.  The next part involved a lot of water, a few rocks, and an oar in my side.  I surfaced and looked through the floating oars and Dutch in search of Jess, eventually seeing her float serenely by in a current, almost shrugging at me as she went.  For the record, I was the first back in the raft; we picked Jess back up at the next rapid.

3.     Jess is using SARCASM!

4.     Go figure, it took sea chanties to establish some cadence for our paddling. (Stroke, stroke, “Oh TJ, look at that beautiful tree!”……………………..  stroke)

5.     She refuses to believe that these have actually existed her entire life, muttering something about "wasted years" whenever I try to tell her.

6.     No Jess!  That’s a crocodile!!!!!